Tuesday, September 21, 2010

The wait is over!

She has taken over my life like nothing ever had. No hobby, no exam, not even my wedding! The last 15 days of being Kuhu's mom have changed my days into nights into cycles of feed, pacify and clean... I am living the new mommy nightmare of sleep deprivation. And yet, I feel no anger or resentment toward her. Or is it too early to be making this comment? LOL!!! Experienced mums, please tell me. I'd made a vow to myself that I will not lose myself after my baby is born. But I find that very hard to keep now. Every single action of mine is governed by her. Her needs, her wants and whims! Oh and does she have whims :)

Even as I struggle to do the daily chores, I know that I will have to find a balance soon. My maternity leave will be over before I know it and I will have to join back at work. I am yet to find help and train her, yet to get the confidence that I can leave my baby with someone for the whole day. Right now, just thinking about it breaks my heart...  

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Blog Giveaway at IMBB

The concept of Blog Giveaways is new to Indian bloggers, most of whom hide behind the anonymity of their online persona. Recently, I found an Indian blogger who writes a make up blog for the Indian girl, about products that are available in India... enter Rati from IMBB (Indian Makeup and Beauty Blog) who does not confirm to the above... if you are a makeup junkie or a newbie or simply want to learn about the options available in the Indian market, do visit her.... Her blog is a community where girls get together to talk about all the girly stuff and basically just have fun!

She is hosting a giveaway that closes in 3 days... so rush over to http://makeupandbeauty.com/500-posts-celebration-giveaway/ and enter now!

Monday, July 12, 2010

Writing Vs Therapy

Read this on a blogger's profile.... unfortunately, I have lost the link and do not remember the blogger's name... her words live on...! (So, if it is you who wrote it, I love the quote... if you need me to take it off, please let me know)

I write because its cheaper than therapy!

I'd say I write to get my thoughts out of my head and yes, it is indeed therapeutic... why do you write?

Friday, July 09, 2010


New cotton Tunic - 350 rupees
Image: http://domesticbliss-domesticbliss.blogspot.com

Maybelline Mascara - 270 rupees

Image: http://megribinsky.wordpress.com

Lotus Kajal - 120 rupees

Soft Sole Sandals - 400 rupees

Image: http://www.shopstyle.co.uk

Still fitting into pre pregnancy jeans - Priceless!

Image: http://www.fertilemind.com.au

Well into my third trimester now and the jeans weren't maternity... well, they were stretch skinnies... still, I fit into them! yay... Vanity at its peak, ain't it? But with more than half the clothes in my wardrobe rendered unwearable, this was definitely something to rejoice about...  :)

Wednesday, July 07, 2010


As kids, we are taught not to discuss the intimate details of our personal lives with those outside our innermost circle. And for an Indian family, the innermost circle is the family or part of it. We are told to be guarded about what we tell others, we don't know who might exploit the info we give out. This distrust gets planted into us and we are forced to view everyone with a hint of suspicion - we don't know the true face of the persons we deal with.

Image Courtesy: http://www.civilization.ca/

We don't know who they hob nob with and what lies beneath their friendliness. So we open up only a part of our lives to them and are always conflicted about what to share and what not to share. Case in point, my pregnancy. A lot of my friends (close, at one time) still do not know about it and people in blogsphere do! Somehow, I don't feel the urge to declare it on FB or call and mail each of them. Not that I don't trust my friends, its just that I don't feel like it. And then there is this blog. I am forever confused how much of life's detail should appear here! I have read blogs where the blogger shares their daily life with abandon. We know the colour of their living room sofa, the nap times of their kids, their boss's most irritating habit or their spouse's most adoring trait. It is their blog and their life. They can share what they want unless they get offensive. Except for one incident with a fellow blogger where I told her what I thought about her blog contents, I have kept my thoughts to myself. More so after the incident mentioned above :) A lesson learnt I would say. Anyway, I digress. What I was getting at is that I never know to what extent I should let readers into my life. That is one reason perhaps I have never put pics of myself on the blog. I love putting up pics... be it my random photography ones or from a trip or a party! Those connected with me on FB and picassa know that ;) I have let very few bloggers into my life and that too after they have crossed a threshold of familiarity... some of my wonderful friends are from this sphere and yet, I feel wary about all that I leave open for the public to read... It is a constant debate about which way to go.... you guys ever face that?

Image Courtesy: http://community.momlogic.com

The last week has been difficult... lots of pain and discomfort in addition to anticipation of the baby's arrival! There were times I wanted to share that on the blog, but just held back. Sometimes, its easy to let things out behind a veil of anonymity. Yet, I dunno what made me keep all of that inside me. All my fears and worries, some of them still very much alive... some of them still growing!

On another note,my college friend was 7 weeks ahead of me and she had her baby last week... when i saw pics of her daughter kissing her, I just melted! :) And when the baby moves inside me, can't ever describe that feeling... guess the nine months are nature's way of developing a woman's maternal instincts... There is lots to be done before the baby arrives... am just hoping all goes well....!

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Baby Shower Vs Godh Bharai

I did mention a while ago that I had my Godh Bharai. That got me intrigued about the ritual and I did a bit of reading on that. I was surprised to learn that this is such a popular ritual in India, done across various states. Speaks volumes about what we don't know about our own culture. Right? And then the western parallel, the baby shower. Methinks that the two are essentially the same thing - a chance for the new mommie to get together with friends and family, indulge in a bit of girlie fun before she gets busy with her new baby... conceptually, they might stem from the same thought, but look at the difference in execution.

Godh Bharais are traditional, family functions - with lots of family involved. And the moment you get extended family into the household, you are talking opinions, expectations, proper behavior and all that... you get the drift, right? You put a decent sized Indian family together and it is potentially explosive (however mild that may be) A good event is one where none occurs and everyone goes home happy! To pull such an event is taxing on the hosts... :) Your friends (those who attend at all) would take a back seat and am sure they'd be a tad uncomfortable in such a setting!

Baby showers on the other hand seem organised by friends so the family takes a back seat! Now could that ever happen in an India setting? Not in this millenia for sure... But I can totally relate to friends fussing over a pregnant lady and pampering her, in a way that only friends can do... you get the picture right?

Mine was a fultoo family affair and I must say it went fairly well... No, am not claiming any credit for it. Lots of ppl did a lot... my mum, my sis in law, father in law, a few relatives... all pitched in and thankfully kept me away from the overseeing all evening. Feel blessed... touchwood!

So did you have a godh bharai / baby shower? How was it?

Monday, June 28, 2010

Wishing for comfort company...

It is a good thing to be independent... knowing that you don't need anyone to get your things done. But having someone by your side is always a good thing :) I call that comfort company and am craving some right now... Hubs has been travelling and his visits have been clashing with my tests and check up schedule. Earlier I'd wait for him to be back but realised now that there is no point in doing so. So, have started going for the tests and doc visits on my own. This is not something I can't handle on my own or begrudge hubby for missing all the fun (!!!) but his company would certainly be nice... I just miss having him around... sigh.....

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Mish Mash of thoughts....

Am so worried if I'll make a good mom.... so much so that the thought keeps me awake for hours at night. But then, I read an article the other day that said don't bother about the worry. The very fact that you are worried means you are concerned and the ones that don't make fabulous moms are the ones that are not worried... hmm... food for thought?

But there is so much to be done and the impending changes can be overwhelming at times... i now know what pregnancy related stress is all about... I had my baby shower last week. The Indian version of it - Godh Bharai... quite an experience and was so glad that my parents and bro could make it :) I feel so comfortable in mum's presence... almost as if nothing can go wrong while she is around.... wonder if I can instill that feeling into my own child... the nesting instinct is starting to kick in. I wanna buy stuff for my baby... there is a mental checklist of things to get done before the baby arrives... i totally need to write it down and start executing...

Oh and the kicks! I had been feeling the baby's movements for a while now, wonderful strange and sometimes weird! But the kicks are more energy packed now... my belly shakes and the movement can be seen from outside too... the first time that happened, I was like "holy crap, there is a human in there!!! A real live human" It is at times like these that the significance of what is happening hits me... at others, it is about tests, medicines, eating etc... speaking of tests, I have had my second test scare yesterday. The first was early on in the pregnancy. It was my first batch of tests and when I got the reports, we did a bit of net research on what it was all about. I spent perhaps the scariest and saddest two hours of my life then... until further probing into the results told us there was nothing to worry about... i might blog about the incident later but then it was a lesson learnt - half knowledge is extremely dangerous! In fact on my last trip, my doc said the same thing - that if something was wrong, she'd be alarmed and let me know... i should leave that part to her and not stress... trust your doc! So this time, i plan to do exactly that...

The heat here is still bad... add to that the power cuts and the ppl at work shut the AC! Can you imagine being couped up in a 10ft x 10 ft room with no windows and 5 other ppl? No ac in this heat? I might as well be working out of a sauna... Cost cutting is more important than the employees' health right? No one will quit the job because the ac in the office doesn't work. Hmph... I wonder if it is only the Indian offices that suffer this attitude, how will the guys in our international offices react if the air con was killed in the middle of such sweltering afternoons...

Hmm... the custard in the fridge beckons... so i am off!

Wednesday, June 09, 2010

Strange Day, Sore throat and a recipe!

I did't sleep well last night but woke up fresher this morning than most days. Strange, na? Some days are like that I guess. Started work early since there were back to back calls lined up all morning... my throat actually hurt after that.... it's still hurting... oh wait, thats the ice cream and milk shakes and chilled water's doing :p

By lunch time I was exhausted and the moment I entered the kitchen, I was hit by a sudden urge to eat something sweet... the chocolates in my fridge didn't look inviting and on an impulse i made vada. Now guys, don't confuse with the well known fried namesake! Vada is something my mom has been making ever since I can remember. I guess my Nani used to make it too... its a quick 10 min dessert - ideal for winter, but can be had whenever the sweet craving hits! The best part is that there is no fixed ratio of things to add and I improvised a little bit today... giving it a much softer texture...! So here is the Mom's version of Vada...

  1. Melt Ghee in a kadhai.... copious amounts of it! If you are worried about calories, go for a walk later or skip your next meal... but don't skimp on the ghee here
  2. Add crushed almonds to the warm ghee. Stir them for a minute or two till they are just a shade darker. Make sure that they don't turn ochre or brown. If they do, remove them from the kadhai and set them aside
  3. Add Ajwain - a pinch or two should do it. Don't add too much of it or you'd get a bitter flavour. And who wants bitter desserts, right? Unless we are talking gooey, dark, bitter chocolate over vanilla ice cream.... errr, back to the vada
  4. Stir the ajwain in the ghee for a few seconds and add Atta. Yup, whole wheat flour, not maida or suji.... although I have never tried it with these. Maybe, one day, I will!
  5. At this point, reduce the flame and keep stirring the atta in the kadhai. Ensure that there are no lumps. Also, do not leave the kadhai or increase the heat. The atta might burn. Within 5 minutes, you'd realise that the atta has changed its hue. It goes slightly pink to brown.
  6. At this stage, turn the flame off and add jaggery or gud to the kadhai... you must turn the flame off or else the vada will take on a sticky jaw quality once it cools... keep stirring the kadhai till the gud melts and mixes with the atta...
  7. Serve it piping hot!

But me being me, I decide to try something different today.... you see my gud was frozen... which meant that if i add it to the kadhai with no flame, it would not only cool the entire dish, but end up not melting and mixing. So, i kept the low flame on while adding the gud and added a bit of water to the kadhai... my vada took on a halwa like texture because of the water and the gud did not harden... mission accomplished!

Anyone use Jovees lip balm tubs? I picked up one the other day in lavender. It has just a hint of pinkish tint and is very smooth on application but does not last more than a few hours.... am still sitting on the fence with it....

Ok, time to get back to work!

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

Mausam induced Nostalgia

The fantastic weather is making me totally miss Mumbai today... the breeze, the temperature, the clouds.... its so so nice! :) I hope it stays this way... light drizzles to just caress you and a gentle breeze that tickles you... bliss!

Saturday, June 05, 2010

Guess What?

Half of my world knows this... I might let the other half and beyond know it too.... I have been hiding a growing secret within me since Jan...! Well, those of you who have figured it out... good for you... those who haven't... read the pointers!

My wardrobe is becoming fast obsolete... I can't wear my pretty clothes anymore. Makeup has come to my rescue big time. I wasn't too much into make up. My everyday routine was face wash and moisturizer before running out of the door. Constant chapped lips meant lip balms or occasional lipstick. But now, I am using a lot more makeup. That's the self esteem booster when you start waddling like a duck. Now those who don't agree with me are welcome to their own opinions, but I strongly believe that when you are looking good, you feel good too... it may be at a superficial level, but it works! Oh and by the way, the reverse works too... :) that perhaps explains the glow on the bride's face on her wedding day... i wudn't attribute all of it to make up!

This summer, I really felt the heat... Honestly, I was sweaty and hot the whole time. The AC guy in my office is fed up of calls and I was constantly sipping on cool water. Actually, I still am.... the good part is that I drank more water than ever before. Really hoping I stick to the habit! Speaking of habits, I went back to my fruit eating habit!!! Post marriage, that somehow slipped away... but now, the emphasis on healthy eating meant going back to fruits and am so glad I did... I do love my melons, cherries, lychees and bananas.... and of course.... mangoes! Whats a summer without mangoes? This is definitely not the first time I mention mangoes on this blog now, is it? :)

Apart from all the medicines, cautions, precautions, advice etc.... life has been going on as usual... A couple of people have asked me - Are you enjoying this period? The most natural reaction is yes... but then if someone were to ask me the thing I loved most... I'd be kinda stumped! I guess its the anticipation of what is to come... a bitter sweet feeling of the joys and the responsibilities! Oh, and picking out names comes a close second!

Monday, May 31, 2010

From Lips to Growing up!

For years and years now.... I have used lip balm for chapped lips (mine have a brutal tendency to chap) I have tried various brands and found Vaseline and Dermalogic to be the ones best suited to me... Then, I discovered makeup... Nude coloured lipsticks did the trick for me, gave me a hint of colour and shine... and kept the lips protected... Then I realised that makeup extends beyond lipstick, kohl and liner.... I got lip gloss... loved what liquid lipgloss did to the lipstick and I was a life long fan!

Yesterday, when cleaning out my closet, I discovered a gift from a friend... (actually, it was hubby's friend) A pot of solid lip gloss... it has been sitting in my closet for years now, totally neglected. On an impulse, i tried it out... and by jove! it was lip balm, lip colour and gloss... all rolled into one... Why the hell did I not try it before? That planted a thought in me... am I less adventurous now? I am one to try out new things (all the time) be it food, places to visit, things to do.... but off late, I haven't been so... :( Is this what growing up is all about?

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Bad, Bad Idea

My rating: 1 of 5 stars
I picked this on an online shopping site... and even with the 15% discount, the book ain't worth it.... i can think of much better ways to spend 85 bucks - ice candy for 17 straight days, a chicken burger, junk jewellery,kolhapuri chappals.... and loads of goodies from the flea market!

Stereotyped characters, jerky pace and an almost non existent storyline... the icing on the cake is the climax!!! OMG, the author must've been running late for a meeting and decided to just wrap things up... i have never read a more hurried and nonsensical end to any story... don't waste your time on this one...

Sunday, May 09, 2010

A wish...

There are new mothers: who struggle with sleepless nights, wet beds, dirty diapers….

There are seasoned mothers: who know the child is lying abt not having finished the homework before heading out to play...

And then there are veteran mothers: who just hear a word said over the phone, a thousand kilometers away and know something is wrong…

Mum, you've been all of this and more... much much more.... I am not going to thank you and trivialise all that you have done.... just wishing you a happy mother’s day.... lots of love...

Saturday, May 08, 2010

Hot Hot Hot!

That's the only way to describe Delhi's weather these days... Some of the things I associate with Summer:

  1. Ice Candies - Love'em in orange!
  2. Watermelon - Anytime, anywhere... having grown up in Mumbai that has practically no winter, watermelons were a perennial thing to beat the heat
  3. Loose Kurtas - The softer the cotton, the flowy the kurta, the better...
  4. Skirts, Long cotton skirts - If they were not made for summer, what were they made for?
  5. Reading - Summertime always meant lots and lots of reading!
  6. Vacation - Who doesn't dream of getting away in the crazy hot months?
  7. Mangoes - Need I say more?
  8. Sunglasses - Glam up!
  9. Chaas - Mealtime staples these were. My classmates still remember the iced chaas mum would pack for my lunch early in the morning. By lunchtime, the ice would melt and I had cool chaas all to myself! ;)
  10. Power Cuts - Part of the package :s
  11. Siesta - Afternoon power naps anyone?
  12. Large handbags - Need to cart around extra water, umbrella, face wipes etc. etc. etc.
  13. Evening Showers - Can you resist the call of the cool water in the evening?
  14. Phalse - This has to be a staple of every summer spent at Delhi.... my early childhood memories are buying phalse from the pheriwalla in the afternoon and eating them on the staircase at naani's house while chatting up with cousins...

What are yours???

Thursday, May 06, 2010


I stopped writing a while ago coz this blog had an overdose of me. But then, thats what this blog is for... isn't it?

I have been a voracious reader (of blogs and not books!!!) in the last few months. I keep following any interesting blog I come across and read them for a while. Often, I lose interest and unfollow (yeah, it sucks but helps manage my Google reader) Speaking of Google reader, while it definitely is convenient to read, i prefer reading on the blog. The ambiance of the blog is lost in the reader. The fonts, colours, widgets, skins... all of these make up a blog as much as the content.... i spend a while over my blog ambiance (sometimes i wish i cud put that into the content only!) and am sure lots of other do. Google reader just nullifies all that effort....

But the fact is that I am back... well, sorta! And even if I post inane stuff thats randomness to the rest of the world, the blog is still active!

I have been photographing a bit of late... macros and abstracts attract me more than landscapes and portraits. I had never imagined I'd be attracted to abstracts! You can see some of my pics here... http://www.flickr.com/photos/anksy06/

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Where have all the flowers gone?

For me, this song is about the days gone by.... reminiscence of wonderful times had....

Where have all the flowers gone?

Long time passing

Where have all the flowers gone?

Long time ago

Where have all the flowers gone?

Girls have picked them every one

When will they ever learn?

When will they ever learn?

Where have all the young girls gone?

Long time passing

Where have all the young girls gone?

Long time ago

Where have all the young girls gone?

Taken husbands every one

When will they ever learn?

When will they ever learn?

Where have all the young men gone?

Long time passing

Where have all the young men gone?

Long time ago

Where have all the young men gone?

Gone for soldiers every one

When will they ever learn?

When will they ever learn?

Where have all the soldiers gone?

Long time passing

Where have all the soldiers gone?

Long time ago

Where have all the soldiers gone?

Gone to graveyards every one

When will they ever learn?

When will they ever learn?

Where have all the graveyards gone?

Long time passing

Where have all the graveyards gone?

Long time ago

Where have all the graveyards gone?

Covered with flowers every one

When will we ever learn?

When will we ever learn?

And the fact that life does indeed come a full circle!